Let go

"You have to let it go" words so many people use when their friends find them selves struggling with reality.
Usually with realities like a break up, a loss of significance, and undesired changes.
But how do you do that? How do you let go when your thoughts keep you awake at night and consume your day?
Or when not so heavy, for example when your child grows into a teenager and starts smoking cigarettes and drinking funny sweet stuff like Malibu with orange juice.
You know that it will not take long before the Vodka will be discovered.
You have got to let go of your kids and trust that they are clever enough to keep themselves healthy and focused on the good.
Of course you continue to watch out for them, of course you observe and guide them, but still, you have to let them find out for them selves how cigarettes, drinks and love work.
My daughter is now sixteen years old, right in the middle of puberty and well on her way to adolescence
My way to let go of being a worried, nagging mother, is placing this reality on a time line as a point of reference.
So we have the before and the after.
Before she was a wonderfully easy and loving daughter, and now she is the same girl who has become a lot more then just my daughter.
So this is the after which means that her natural dependency on me has changed into a healthy Independence.
I can only trust that I have raised her well, and that trust provides for the fun part of letting go.
I become a witness of my personal values and of certain parts of my self, by watching her move through life, and I can anticipate on the wonder of my daughter's own personal development, based on that.

Letting go of more difficult matters can be done in the same way.
Place your issue on your time line, find out what you still bring to the present from your history and how you can do things differently or if convenient repeat them tomorrow.
If you are not familiar with  the word time line, here you have your brief description.
Your time line is a line you can draw on a piece of paper, that has a starting point which is your day and year of birth. From that point, the line continues until your present day, and on that line you can mark dates or years, that had impact on your life due to experiences.
Time lines as a tool, are used in NLP and psycho therapy.
This all may sound a bit too easy and that is right, because placing things on your time line requires experience.
However if you know that things change all the time and that some experiences need to be let go of, you can only let go by placing things.
Heavy impacts cannot be deleted from your emotional memory, they can be parked in their right place though.
Eventually you will notice that these difficulties are just a part of your existence, that they contribute to life as you live it.